It’s tough to toot your own horn without seeming arrogant and narcissistic. We don’t all have the charm to pull that off (although Mac Davis did).  We know from the research that narcissists may make a good first impression but their ‘charm’ quickly wears off once we truly see them for who they are.Yet, you want to be able to present your achievements and let others know what you have accomplished.

So how can you brag without being written off as a blowhard narcissist? We have researchers to thank for giving us a recipe. The key to avoid looking like a narcissist is to provoke a question from your audience—like “how do you win every case you ever take on?” or “How do you manage to look forever young?” or something predictable like that. The key is context.

Here’s the researcher’s recipe for effective boasting:

• You want your conversation partner to bring up the topic. If they don’t, you can raise the topic but they need to ask you a question.
• If they ask a question, you can then happily boast without being seen as a braggart. If they don’t question and you offer your boast anyway, you will likely not be seen positively.

So you can market your strengths and accomplishments to others. You just need to get them to ask questions!

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